Army Sailor -- War in the Sandbox...
The Adventures of a Sailor in Afghanistan...

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post to this blog. While I was in Afghanistan I had the distinct honor of having been able to serve with (then) Captain Lance Waldorf. He was a U.S. Army reservist who truly demonstrated the best the reserves have to offer. He was a prior enlisted officer who had never forgotten where he came from. He was one of those soldiers who did his job with pride, and not just because it was his job, but because he truly loved it.

Major Lance Waldorf took his own life on June 4th of this year. It was the day that I returned to the U.S. from my latest deployment in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Word of his death reached me quickly through a mutual friend, and it struck me very hard. I found myself no longer excited to be home, but now completely grief stricken at the loss of this man who truly was a Soldier. I cannot possibly imagine the situation surrounding his decision, but I can say that he would have been about the last person I would have ever guessed would do such a thing.

In his absence I am doing my best to focus on the privilege it was to have known him, and to have been able to serve with him, and I am trying not to focus on his loss. Major Waldorf made the world a better place. He touched the lives of countless Afghan citizens, and he made a positive difference in those lives he touched, including my own.

He will be missed, but never forgotten.

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From the Detroit Free Press:
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Major's wife says he was depressed

Dark stories from tours kept to himself

BY KORIE WILKINS • FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER • June 6, 2008

Maj. Lance Waldorf took pride in what he did during two tours in Afghanistan as a civil affairs officer, helping villagers build schools, roads and hospitals.

And, his wife said, he was looking forward to a third tour in Africa in the coming months. As she prepares for his funeral, set for Saturday, Lana Waldorf is comforted by the good her husband did while deployed and her deep Christian faith.

Lance Waldorf, 40, was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head Monday at the Great Lakes National Cemetery in Holly Township. A note, his will and family photos were nearby. While he exhibited signs of depression, Lana Waldorf, 51, said her husband seemed to be doing better in recent days. He was in the U.S. Army Reserves.

"The appeal of being at peace in heaven was greater than the thought of enduring the pain he was in," Waldorf said Thursday from her Bingham Farms home. "I know Lance is at peace with the Lord. I'm not angry with him. I have forgiven him."

Waldorf said she supports military efforts in Afghanistan. And one of her husband's proudest moments in Afghanistan came in 2004, at the end of his first tour, when he was with a group of soldiers feted by villagers.

They feasted on a whole cow, an honor, and a village elder gave Lance Waldorf his ring.

"The man wept openly," Lana Waldorf recounted. "He said his children and his children's children would remember what Lance did for his people.

"He made a tremendous difference there."

But while her husband shared positive stories of his time in Afghanistan, he kept the darker, more difficult tales to himself.

"I saw some symptoms" of depression, she said. "But what I didn't know were the details of what he was experiencing emotionally or psychologically."

Officials from the Michigan State Police said a handgun was found near Lance Waldorf's body. Waldorf, who was part of the 414th Battalion out of Southfield, was wearing a camouflage military uniform.

His struggles are not unique. Last month, U.S. military officials released a report that there were 115 suicides in 2007 by active duty and reservist troops, a 13% increase over 2006.

Lana Waldorf said she believes all returning soldiers should go to mandatory counseling for at least a year. Lance Waldorf, who worked as a financial consultant for the Merrill Lynch office in Auburn Hills, went to some counseling sessions.

"Lance Waldorf was a good man and a colleague who showed great promise, professionally. We were very, very proud of him," said Dennis Drenikowski, his boss at Merrill Lynch.

Lana Waldorf said her husband was a man of character and integrity who never forgot a birthday or anniversary.

"There are at least 100 people praying for me," she said. "I feel the strength of those prayers."

Contact KORIE WILKINS at 248-351-5186 or kwilkins@freepress.com.

Well, I have been home since February and things are going pretty well. I made Chief, I re-enlisted for six more years and I accepted orders to a ship in Mayport, Florida. Things are moving along smoothly, and in exactly the manner I had hoped. There have been a few minor challenges along the way, and a few unusual developments, but such is what keeps life interesting.

I will continue to look back on my time in Afghanistan and my time with the U.S. Army as a defining point in my career. I can not think of any 18 month period of my life that has changed me more as a person than that period. I do not regret a single moment of it, and I have to admit, I would go back in a heartbeat, especially if I could go back with the same folks. My willingness to go back is not so much a statement of support for the politics or policies behind it all, as it is a statement of support for my fellow service members. I miss the camaraderie that I experienced there, the bonds forged by war between two souls are unlike any other.

However, I am ready to move on. I am looking forward to my new role as the Chief. I am completely committed to my sailors, and I look forward to doing all I can to get them to where they need to be, just as so many great Chiefs have done for me. I must never forget that the anchors I wear are not my own, they belong to my sailors. My career no longer matters, only the careers of those whom I have the honor to lead matters now. I intend to prepare each one of them to replace me one day, I only hope I can succeed.

It seems very fitting to me to write this final post on October 13th. It is the 232nd birthday of the United States Navy, and it is my 29th birthday. I have always thought it was a sign of something that I was born on the Navy's birthday. Now that I have committed myself to being a career man, I know that it is in fact a sign. I consider a sign of something that was meant to be, because the fact of the matter is, that no matter how much I may sometimes bitch and moan, I do love this shit. I love it with all my heart, and I believe I am exactly where I belong.

Semper Fortis!

NOTE: This only marks the final entry to this blog, it does not mark the end of my writing by a long shot. In time I may start another MilBlog, and no matter what I will continue to write and express myself in some forum. Keep an eye out for my future writings. Be sure to check my MySpace Profile for announcements.

To see pictures of my Chief's Pinning, CLICK HERE.

It's official, the Chief Petty Officer results have been released, and after only a short delay.

The great news is...

I MADE CHIEF!!!

I was selected for promotion to Chief Petty Officer! This is easily the happiest day of my naval career. I simply don't know what to write right now... I can not explain my reaction in words, this is a dream come true.

I am not a Chief yet, I won't be until I get pinned in September, but now I know it's coming. Now I need to start working on my re-enlistment. This is going to be a busy period for me, but I can't wait.

I will post more later. Thank all of you who have given me so much support over the last two years. I especially have to thank Master Chief Betterton, Master Chief Nolan, Master Chief Harlin, Sergeant Major Pyle, Sergeant Major Jetty, Lieutenant Commander Carlson, Chief Woehnker, Chief Bechthold, Senior Chief Franklin, Chief Fraser and all of the other wonderful people in my career who have mentored me each and every step of the way, my success is a testament to your hard work, and I will be eternally grateful.

Next stop... Senior Chief...

Take a look at this Tribute to Chiefs who gave their all in the service of their country...

Well, I finally got my hearing aids. I suppose I never realized how much sound I was really missing before. It's kind of crazy because I can now hear all sorts of sounds I never heard before. They are definitely a good thing. They are also much smaller and more comfortable than I imagined they would be. The funny part is that it is almost a bit disconcerting being able to hear as much as I can now. I heard the sound of a tree rustling and it was amazing, I had forgotten just how noisy a simple tree could be.

It is certainly going to take me some time to get used to wearing these things, but I can see that overall they will improve my quality of life. Best of all, they are almost completely invisible, so I don't feel as though I look like an old man.

Now I just have to figure out if TriCare will pay for the hearing aid batteries, or if I am going to have to take that on as an out of pocket expense.

We met with the NAVSUP Command Master Chief today, and he gave me some insight as to what was holding up the board results. Whereas it doesn't make me any less anxious, it is good to hear from a reliable source what the hold up is all about, I will share more details later, for now I am off to the gym.